Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Rumble strips road head = magical
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
