So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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