I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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