I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
