New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
