i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
