so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize