I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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