Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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