I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
last night I used snow as a chaser
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
