I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
