I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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