ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
