I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I stole a fireplace last night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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