He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize