I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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