marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
