R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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