yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
