I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
