So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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