I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
