I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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