Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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