1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
