I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will pee on everything he values.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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