lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
