Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
