he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
