My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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