Need sex. Gaining weight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
3 2 1 whiskey
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
