Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
oh god the rape fog is back!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
