Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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