Reggie can tackle my bush.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
