dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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