you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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