so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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