WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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