I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
