Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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