6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
