That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
