When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
