A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
