I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
