He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
