just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
