just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize