My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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