she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's blow job season.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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