i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
