just come out here and I will go home with you...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
