You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
