Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
