we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is the high leading the old right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
