Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize