their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
