Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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