Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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